Life is beautiful. There are moments that can move us in inexplicably wonderful ways. There are connections with others that make us wonder how we could have ever felt alone. And there are some experiences that generate an all-encompassing sense of being vibrantly alive. Yet the majority of days can feel like a continuous test, a feat of endurance. We are bombarded with direct, and indirect, messages which all seem to weigh on our shoulders whispering that we’re not good enough.
We’ve been conditioned to compare our performance to others, to take all criticism personally, and to feel that we must continue carrying the guilt from past ‘errors’ long into the future. It’s a heavy load isn’t it?
I’m very glad to tell you that there’s good news - fabulously freeing news in fact! When we manage to step out of the mainstream yet highly ineffective pattern of guilt, we can find true liberation. And this enlightened freedom nourishes absolutely every aspect of our lives. It is that powerful - and therefore that important to locate the freedom that is inherently ours beneath the layers of conditioning.
All it takes is a change of perspective….a new lens on the world that allows us to see the truth, that focuses in on the positive. By changing our lens the negative fades until it no longer exists. And that’s what you - and life itself deserve - to see yourself, and your existence in the positive.
So I’m going to tell you what you’ve probably been longing to hear because I want for you to be free too…
“You have never done anything wrong. Nothing. Life is not meant for you to be perfect. Life is for learning. Not only is it ok to mess up, you’re supposed to mess up. We are all works in progress, we are all striving to grow and adapt because that is the natural way. But you are by default, learning and growing, so you are, by default, a success. You have never done anything wrong”
You have never done anything wrong. You can not fail. Let go now and see how truly amazing you are. In fact, you are delightfully right, and just where you meant to be, with unlimited potential and purpose. You have never done anything wrong.
It’s always nourishing for others to tell us positive things about ourselves or life in general. But now I’ve told you - please gently and lovingly tell yourself. And not just once. But over and over again. When you wake up to a new and wonderful day, through the day and whatever it brings for you and your family, and before you enter that abstract dreamland at night. Everytime you look in the mirror, look deeply into your incredible eyes - to the unique you that resides within and say to yourself “I am right. I am beautiful. I love myself for everything that has come to pass and for all that I am now”.
This declaration of self-love may feel foreign, or even silly at first. But keep going until it feels like the most natural thing in the world
There’s just one more thing you need to do now to expand on this new found sense of ‘okness’. And that’s to make a pact to be kinder to yourself. No matter what, be kind and gentle to yourself. Be kind to yourself for feeling guilt, and the guilt can pass. Be kind to yourself for not knowing how to do everything and the inadequacy will leave you. Be kind to yourself for saying or doing the ‘wrong thing’ and you are free to learn and to move on with a lightness that will elevate you. Be kind to yourself for the the moments of rage and overwhelm and despair and your calm will soon dominate once more. You will feel so much better, and other women will learn from you; we are all works in progress, and there is nothing more perfect or beautiful than that.
In this way, you will come home to yourself. And when you walk through the door and welcome yourself with the celebration, kindness and love you truly deserve you will know that there’s no place, nor person, that you’d rather be.